Alameda County Superior Court
Family Court Self Help
Divorce/Legal Separation/Annulment
This section tells you about:
- How to file for a divorce, legal separation or annulment
- Orders for child or spousal support, child custody or visitation
- Mediation and collaborative law
- Children and divorce
- How to finish your divorce
- How to get copies of your divorce decree
If you would like to see information about a particular case or find out about a hearing date, click here to visit our public access DOMAIN website. However, you will not be able to look up information about certain cases that are confidential, including cases involving adoptions, mental health issues and custody petitions for parents who have not married.
Divorce can be complicated. We encourage you to talk to a family law lawyer so you will know about your legal rights and the legal issues in your case.
This section gives you information on:
- Options for handling your divorce case
- Referral Resource
- Form
- Fees
Click here to go to the Process page with diagram of the divorce process.
Options for handling your divorce case
- Ask a lawyer to help you
You can look for a lawyer in the phone book or call the Lawyer Referral Service of the Alameda County Bar Association. Many lawyers have reasonable fees for your first consultation. (See Referral Resources, below.) - Do it yourself
You can buy self-help divorce books and legal forms at book stores, stationery stores or printing companies. Most of the books have all the forms you need. Remember: The forms change often. You must use the most current forms.Download forms from the internet.
Download the Local Family Rules for Alameda County.
Get a Self-help Divorce Book
Download the California Family Code.
Also, review the Divorce section of the California Courts Self-Help Center.
Visit the Self-Help Center at the Wiley Manual Courthouse in Oakland, CA
Contact the Family Law Facilitator.
Contact a Legal Document Preparer to complete the paperwork for you.
Referral Resources
We cannot recommend a lawyer or document preparing service. But, here are resources to help you find a lawyer or legal document preparer for your case.
- Look for a lawyer in the phone book, on the web or call the Lawyer Referral Service of the Alameda County Bar Association
- Look for a legal document preparer in the phone book.
- Family Law Facilitator
Forms
Divorce can be a complicated process. What forms you need depends on if you and your husband/wife agree or not. Here are links to the forms you may need:
All of the state forms are available from the Judicial Council web site. Choose the "Family Law - Dissolution/Legal Separation/Annulment" option on that page from the dropdown box.
Fees
You will have to pay fees to file your forms with the Clerk's Office. Click here to see the fee schedule. If your income is low you can apply to not pay the fees.
Click on the following links for help getting court orders:
You can also visit the Family Law Facilitator
If you and your spouse have an agreement or think you can come to an agreement about some or all of the issues in your case, consider mediation.
Mediation is voluntary. A neutral person (called a mediator) helps the parties come to an agreement on the issues in your case.
Advantages of mediation
You and your spouse control the pace of the process
- Your case is confidential
- Your agreement is more likely to reflect a compromise
- Your agreement can deal with your specific needs and concerns
- There is little court involvement, and
- People are more likely to follow the terms of a mediated agreement than a court-imposed order.
- To mediate about Custody and Visitation when you have a court date you can work with a mediator from the court's Custody Mediation office.
You can also hire a private mediator. There is a fee to do private mediation. Look up "Attorneys-Mediation" in the yellow pages of your phone book.
For information about the court's mediation services, contact the Child Custody Mediation Services office
Research tells us that children of separated or divorced parents do better if both parents stay actively involved in their children's lives.
Remember: Conflict is not good for your children. The way you and the other parent act affects them. The more you and the other parent can deal with each other without conflict, the better it will be for your children.
Here are some suggestions:
- Tell your children about the separation together, if possible.
- Answer your children's questions honestly, but avoid saying things they don't need to know.
- Reassure your children that they are not to blame for the separation.
- Tell your children you and the other parent loves them very much and will take care of them.
- Include the other parent in school and other activities.
- Encourage a relationship between the children and the other parent.
- Be consistent and be on time to pick up and return the children.
- Develop a parenting plan that gives your children time and access to both parents.
- Try to never cancel plans with your children.
- Make two homes for your children with two fully involved parents.
- Encourage your children to have a loving, satisfying relationship with the other parent.
Here are some things to avoid.
Please do not:
Ask your children for information about the other parent.
- Try to control the other parent.
- Use your children to carry messages back and forth.
- Argue in front of the children.
- Discuss child support issues with the children.
- Speak negatively about the other parent.
- Put your children in the position of having to take sides.
- Use your children to hurt the other parent.
How to finish your divorce, legal separation, or annulment
Declarations of Disclosure
The law says you must give your husband or wife information about your income, expenses, things you own and money you owe (even if you do not own anything or owe any money!). This is called "disclosure."
The first disclosure you make is called the "Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure." You have to do this before you can finish your divorce, legal separation, or annulment. Sometimes you also have to make a second, final disclosure.
You must complete and file the necessary court forms to get your divorce judgment. This does not happen automatically.
Laws about Legal Separation and Annulment are different from Divorce laws. Please talk to a lawyer or contact the Family Law Facilitator for help.
You can get a judgment by:
- Default (when the other party does not respond),
- Written agreement or
- Trial
Remember: You cannot get divorced just by filing a Motion.
Most divorce cases fall into one of these categories:
Default
If the other party does not answer the court papers ("defaults"), then you can get a default judgment:
- Talk with a lawyer or
- Read a Self Help book about what you need to do next, or
- Contact a legal document preparer
Written agreement
If you and your husband or wife have an agreement on all issues in your divorce (uncontested), you can write up and file your agreement by:
- Hiring a lawyer to write it up for you, or
- Reading a Self Help book, or
- Hire a legal document preparer
Trial (contested divorce, legal separation, or annulment)
Sometimes it is not possible to come to an agreement with your husband/wife. There may be issues you disagree on, or your husband/wife may refuse to finalize the divorce. If you cannot come to an agreement outside of court, a judge will decide the issues in your case at a trial.
If this is your case, you should talk to a lawyer. A family law attorney can tell you about important legal rights and may be able represent you in trial, if you want. Know your rights before you finish your divorce or you may lose those rights forever.
Here are the steps you need to take to finish your contested divorce.
Step 1: "At Issue Memorandum"
As soon as you are ready to finalize your divorce and want court hearing, and you have filed the Declaration Regarding Service of Declaration of Disclosure and Income and Expense Declaration (FL-141) you may file the At Issue Memorandum form.
Have someone (who is at least 18 and not involved in your case) mail a copy of the At Issue Memorandum form to your husband/wife (or their lawyer).
The person who mails the form must then sign the Proof of Service on the back of the At Issue Memorandum form and give the form back to you.
Step 2: Get a court date
After the Court gets your At Issue Memorandum, they will mail you and your spouse a notice with several court dates. You and your spouse must go to court for a Case Status Conference and if the case does not settle you must go to court for a Settlement Conference. If the case does not settle at the Settlement Conference you must return to court for a Trial.
Before coming to court for the Case Status Conference, prepare a Case Status Questionnaire. (Local Rule 11.9) Before coming to court for the Settlement Conference, prepare a Statement Conference. The Settlement Conference Statement gives a detailed and thoroughly documented explanation of your issue(s). You will also list the issues that you agree about and the issues that you do not agree about.
You must bring the original documents and 2 copies to the Clerk's Office at least 4 days before the hearings to file them. You must also serve your husband/wife at least 4 days before the hearings and file the proof of service showing you had them served.
Step 3: Your "Case Status Conference"
At the Case Status Conference the Court will review the status of the case, your discovery plans, your progress toward settlement, and any outstanding issues. The Court may make orders for whatever actions permitted by law that would tend to promote a just and efficient disposition of the case including a change in the dates of the Settlement Conference and Trial. (See local rule 11.9 Case Management)
Step 4: Your "Settlement Conference"
The Settlement Conference is a chance to tell the Judge which issues you have settled and which issues you still do not agree about. If you and your husband/wife have reached an agreement on all the issues at the Settlement Conference the Judge may grant your divorce at this hearing and you will avoid returning to court for Trial.
Step 5: Your "Trial"
If your case is one of the very few that goes to trial, your Judge will tell you at the Settlement Conference which issues will be heard at trial, how long you will get to present your case, and which witnesses will be allowed. You must follow the trial policies of the department where your trial is scheduled.
Step 6: Judgment
Whether you come to an agreement outside of court, at one of the court proceedings, or if your case is heard and decided by a Judge, you must prepare the following documents:
- a Judgment (Form FL-180)
- Attachments to the Judgment (on court forms or pleading paper that contain the orders for custody and visitation, child support, spousal support, property division, and attorneys fees, if any)
- Notice of Entry of Judgment (Form FL-190)
- 2 addressed, stamped envelopes with the Court's return address. One will have your address; the other will have your spouse's address.
For help with these forms, go to the Judicial Council web site (www.courtinfo.ca.gov) or read the Self-Help books.
After you prepare your documents, make copies for your records and file them with the County Clerk.
How to get copies of your divorce decree
There may be a time, even years after your divorce, that you need a copy of the divorce papers.
To get copies of divorce documents, go to the courthouse and ask for a copy. Or send a request through the mail.
To visit the courthouse or send a request by mail, see directions, addresses and business hours on the (Family Court Location-Hours-Directions)
To ask for a copy by mail, send us:
- Your written request
- A check payable to the Superior Court, and
- A self-addressed stamped legal-sized envelope.
To know the amount of the check, look under "Preparing copies of any record" of our certification and copy fees.
There is an additional charge for a certified copy. See "Certifying a copy of marriage dissolution record - other applicant" of our certification and copy fees.
If you do not know the divorce case number, there will be a small charge to look this up. See "Searching indexes for names per year" of our certification and copy fees.
Give us as much information as you can in your request. This will help us do a thorough search and get you the information you need.
Mail your request, check and envelope to the mailing address on the Alameda Superior Court website.